What she said

The ‘Real Person’ vs. The Fantasy, How to Spot them.


Fake people excel at pretending, usually because they want it to be hard for you to figure them out. You can look for the signs of fakeness, but it often takes knowing someone for several months at least to see them in action and to see just how fake they really are. If you’re like most people, you are fairly straightforward and don’t have a secret agenda. But fake people do and that’s because they’re image conscious, and their goal is to look like they are all things to all people at all times!!!

Fake people are usually anxious, insecure, competitive, jealous and miserable individuals. They are threatened very easily, and are usually total control freaks. After all, think how hard they have to work to keep up that fake front. Their world could be falling apart but their fake front is their fantasy.

The main sign of a fake person is someone who never shows what they really feel, they try to hide when they’re upset or angry. Fake people hate real emotions because real emotions get in the way of the dimensional facade they work so hard to project. So for them they have no emotion. Deep down, these people are more insecure than you would ever believe.

In short, fake people are immature to the point that you can’t have a deep and consistent friendship or romantic relationship with them. Someone fake is most interested in being liked and adored by everyone, so they will never be too committed to you. Someone fake needs to be loved and paid attention to by everyone, not just one person. So they pretend they are loners, to appear to be mysterious, when in all actuality it’s attention they seek. Fake men and women frequently lead others to believe that they are romantically interested, and it usually takes weeks or months of broken plans or false promises before you see their reality. It’s all a fantasy.

Ladies and gentlemen, the goal is to find someone who has moral principles they live by, and real principles that are solid and constant. Fake people don’t live out their words or promises, why? because they’re FAKE!!!

Proceed with caution, ladies and gentlemen!

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A hot mess!, Interracial Relationships, What she said

What’s the PROBLEM Black Man???


We should all be proud and responsible for the decisions we make in this life. And these decisions should also be the case in love and marriage. Be proud of who you choose as a wife and/or partner to spend your life.

I was out to dinner last night, enjoying the company and the ambiance of my evening when, three black men came into the restaurant with their brood and was seated in my view. It was obvious others would be joining their party as there were “3” empty seats left at their table. They wouldn’t of had my attention except, they kept staring at me, which was when I noticed all of their children were bi-racial. The stare was becoming so obvious that one of the men had his shades on not to be so conspicuous. These men were so attentive of me, that I was beginning to think I was the only black woman in the restaurant. I couldn’t figure it out.

Then the obvious happened, three white women joined them who were apparently their spouses, significant others and the mother of these children. Well thank God!!! I thought….So why did they continue to stare at me? Because really I didn’t care. Did they regret having not waited to hook up with a fine black woman? Were they guilty because they married and procreated outside of their race? I got the impression they were not happy with the women who joined them. Whatever the issue, I should not have been the center of their attention, when their life choices were sitting amongst them. 

 

What she said

If They’re Afraid to Talk Finances, DON’T MARRY THEM!!!


This is the biggest mistake couples make, not talking finances before moving the relationships to the next level. When he and/or she want to avoid such discussions, nine times out of ten it’s because they are not skilled in this area of life. And if they are not willing to be taught and learn, “then move on Martha move on“.

I had a friend and money was always a sore subject between she and her now ex-husband. She’d draft a budget, send him the spreadsheet with specific instruction on “not to spend money” because the account was down to $100 dollars and homeboy would have their account overdrawn by the end of the week. It was utterly exhausting for her and her financial health was tied to this aggravation.

After her divorce, she had to rebuild herself financially and resolved to never be with another man who lacked money management skills. And although she’s in a healthy relationship now, both emotionally and financially, she’s still paying off legal bills pending from her divorce.

Being in love can be a beautiful thing but when it comes down to the reality of a life together, watch how your partner spends money, saves money and handles money. If he or she is a financial disaster, weak and drowning, take heed to the red flag warnings before saying “I do”. It will hurt you in the end to have your financial stability destroyed for the lack of communication in this area of your relationship. 

New Book Release, What she said

Vivica Fox is throwing shade at 50 Cent in new book.


In Vivica’s upcoming book “Everyday, I’m hustling” obtained by People, Vivica detailed her sordid sex life with 50 Cents as rated “PG-13”. Although Fox and the rapper dated 15 years ago, they’ve been anything but on friendly terms.

According to the Daily News, Fox writes in the book, “Most of the time, I would be the one initiating sex, because I really enjoyed making love with him.” She also described the sex as “cherished and special.” albeit PG-13. According to the outlet, Fox, 53, also says she only felt the need to divulge about her past with 50 because he allegedly spread false stories about her on multiple occasions. Petty but apparent since she feels the need to dish the detail in her book.

The former couple have been feuding for years. Fox implied that 50 was gay — although she later said it wasn’t true — during a 2015 episode of Watch What Happens Live With Andy Cohen. “Now she thinks I’m gay because I let her lick my ass,” he responded on Twitter at the time. “Wait, I didn’t want her to, she forced me, my hands were tied. 50 shades of grey.”

The rapper responded to a New York Daily News report that quoted Fox’s remarks about their relationship. “I’m waking up to this shit,” he captioned a screenshot of the article on Instagram Monday, March 19. “That was 14 years ago. Smh who does this? What the fuck!”

Conversations Of A Sistah, Tracy L. Bell, What she said, when a man loves his woman

Why Women should NEVER give a Man money?


It’s never a good practice and a bad habit to start. The transfer of money in relationships often complicate things, especially when the intent women have for the men they love often backfire. Some women will sacrifice their financial security by trying to buy a man’s love. That never work because men are socialized to provide and protect. But if a woman is treating him like a child then he will not gain financial responsibility to empower himself. Men who may accept money from women secretly resent or disrespects the woman that can give him money. This type of man will prefer to spend his life with a woman who made him believe he can overcome his financial obstacles, no matter how long it takes. Provided she’s willing to wait.

So what’s the difference between giving your husband money vs. a boyfriend? one of my readers asks. There’s a major difference, couples who are not married should not co-mingle their finances without the benefits of a contract. Whereas a married couple is building a financial foundation together: for better or worse. When dating, give that man emotional support; which can be far more valued than that of a dollar. Amen!! Amen!!!