What she said

If They’re Afraid to Talk Finances, DON’T MARRY THEM!!!


This is the biggest mistake couples make, not talking finances before moving the relationships to the next level. When he and/or she want to avoid such discussions, nine times out of ten it’s because they are not skilled in this area of life. And if they are not willing to be taught and learn, “then move on Martha move on“.

I had a friend and money was always a sore subject between she and her now ex-husband. She’d draft a budget, send him the spreadsheet with specific instruction on “not to spend money” because the account was down to $100 dollars and homeboy would have their account overdrawn by the end of the week. It was utterly exhausting for her and her financial health was tied to this aggravation.

After her divorce, she had to rebuild herself financially and resolved to never be with another man who lacked money management skills. And although she’s in a healthy relationship now, both emotionally and financially, she’s still paying off legal bills pending from her divorce.

Being in love can be a beautiful thing but when it comes down to the reality of a life together, watch how your partner spends money, saves money and handles money. If he or she is a financial disaster, weak and drowning, take heed to the red flag warnings before saying “I do”. It will hurt you in the end to have your financial stability destroyed for the lack of communication in this area of your relationship.Β 

Advertisements

135 thoughts on “If They’re Afraid to Talk Finances, DON’T MARRY THEM!!!”

  1. He has to have more than me. I’m good with money and saving and if he’s the opposite then we either gotta work on it or move on like Tra said.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Couples don’t talk money sometimes for so many reasons. Then it becomes the biggest elephant in the room that comes out at the divorce hearing. I wanna see how she spend my money. That will tell me alot.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Hey!!
        I’m late and most of you are gone I know. It was crowded in here I seeπŸ‘€ about to scroll down to see wassup

        Like

  3. Thank you for this Tracy. When you are wise and older you do better. I was with this guy who was horrible with his finances. He wouldn’t want to go to his place because every other month his lights were turned off. Or he was late with his rent. When he stuck me with a vacation bill that he vowed to pay but took his time doing so I dumped his ass. Love might be strong but being in financial ruin is stronger.

    Liked by 20 people

    1. It’s easy to get so caught up in the relationship that this is put on the back burner. But when it hits the 4front reality kick in. But my reality kicked in b4 I made her a Mrs. Thank God.

      Liked by 4 people

      1. Yes it is. And the sex will cloud every judgment. Fall in love but take that good old common sense with u
        *****
        True sex does cloud your judgement but we haven’t gone there yet πŸ˜› too soon. I have a 6 month rule.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. If you’re BROKE steer clear of relationships. Don’t hook up until you have something to bring to the table besides your body assets. Ass and dick wont pay the rent unless you’re selling it.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. If you’re BROKE steer clear of relationships. Don’t hook up until you have something to bring to the table besides your body assets.
      ***********
      Well Dayum! The Broke niggaz need love tooπŸ˜‰

      Liked by 2 people

      1. If you’re broke but willing to learn the skills of financial building., then there’s hope but if not stay alone and single.

        Liked by 2 people

  5. I think a man should be a man. But when a man has money it is very important to hook up with a woman who has good management skills because if she doesn’t she will deplete his finances like crazy. Been there done that. Not going there again. Ever!

    Liked by 4 people

  6. This is the biggest mistake couples make, not talking finances before moving the relationships to the next level.

    Nothing but Truth Trace. I paid dearly. Is all I’m gonna say.

    Liked by 7 people

    1. Yes it is 🀚high 5ing u.
      I was talking to this guy once and when we got into the thick of things he started telling me his financial woes but then when he refused my assistance to put him on a budget. I wasπŸƒβ€β™€οΈπŸƒβ€β™€οΈ

      Liked by 2 people

  7. A lack of financial skills and ability will destroy the Hope’s of any relationship. Tracy is on point with this topic. A man or woman who cannot manage their own finances will not know how to do so in the status of togetherness in order to gain financial stability. Hooking up with someone who is not skilled with their finances will fuck you up. I just got married and that’s the main thing my wife and I ironed out in the relationship b4 she even became Mrs. Perry. So this right here is excellent advice. Better to know now than pay later. And you will pay later for being ignorant concerning this matter.

    Liked by 7 people

  8. Tracy I wouldn’t even get into a serious relationship without this being clear. When you reach a certain age you’re too old not to have ya shit together.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Hell talk money if the relationship is getting deep period. I don’t like suprises. I want all the cards laid out and on the table.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. I don’t know….I think this is easier said than done when you love someone it’s not easy to move on just because they’re bad with finances.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Common sense will win over love every time. And I’d rather cut my loss if she’s not willing to meet me half way then pay royally later. Choose wisely bruh

      Liked by 2 people

    2. it’s not easy to move on just because they’re bad with finances.
      ******
      Be sure and share when and if that’ll work out.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Communication is key. If he or she breaks down on communication on the subject of finances then there will be a break down in other areas. That alone is a red flag.

    Liked by 3 people

  11. Tracy this is good info.
    You obviously have some girlfriends who have been through some stuff but what about you? Have you ever dealt with someone bad with money or not on top of their game? C’mon share something with us. #justasking4afriendπŸ˜‰

    Liked by 6 people

    1. Have you ever dealt with someone bad with money or not on top of their game?
      ********
      Thank you for your question and to answer your question: Yes I have dealt with someone bad with finances without a dime saved in the bank. I would have handled him differently had he been willing to learn but his EGO unfortunately is his biggest downfall. On top of that he had no plan, no goals and no ambition. he stopped talking a future and his actions followed therefore I had to move on. You will read the full story in “Conversations VOL II” so stay tuned.

      Liked by 24 people

      1. There was no love there for him obviously Tra if he vetted you vs his ego. I guess a Sistah’s success can do that to a weak man. Smh

        Liked by 5 people

      2. I was hoping by the time you came out with your VOL2 Blog Queen Diva we would read about wedding bells or something 😦 sistah’s need hope.

        Liked by 2 people

      3. Are you sure it was his ego? He had to be mentally challenged and not able to recognize something good. I know you’re a good thing because of your morals alone but this man sound like an idiot. But I’ll wait and read the book b4 passing judgment πŸ˜‰πŸ˜‹

        Liked by 6 people

      4. Trace I’m always here if u need me.😝we all got flaws but a man has got to be a total fuck up if you walked after tolerating him being broke. Cott dayum!!! How dumb can u be?

        Liked by 3 people

      5. Ok first off, who would not want a future with you? I know you got some flaws hell we all do but what are the chances that you don’t have your shit together? 0 ..teach me baby…teach me.😁for a woman like you no ego would exist. No goals no ambition? WTF was he a bum? What grown man ain’t out here handling his business. I pray this is some nigga from your college days, can’t be now. Smh

        Liked by 1 person

      6. Yea a broke hooligan like that can keep it moving. And Trace I know in your profession you meet all kinds so this story or chapter might I add will be good.

        Like

      7. Trace how did a broke nigga even get that close πŸ˜‚ oh he was outta his league. Ole dude got lost and slid down the wrong block. Hurry up with VOL2 I gotta hear this.

        Liked by 1 person

      8. I would have handled him differently had he been willing to learn but his EGO unfortunately is his biggest downfall. On top of that he had no plan, no goals and no ambition. he stopped talking a future and his actions followed therefore I had to move on
        ******
        πŸ™ŒπŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘my gurl.πŸ’―πŸ’―βœ”

        Like

      9. 😦 Oh wow Tracy sounds like you loved him, guess we’ll find out in VOL2 πŸ˜› ooh wee. juicy!! spill all the tea.

        Like

    2. Trace you let a broke kneegrow holla at you? Ok his rap game must’ve been tight. But eventually that shit play out. Way out. Looking 4ward to the book. What will be the title of that chapter >> BROKE BROTHAZ need not apply? πŸ˜‚

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Trace you let a broke kneegrow holla at you? Ok his rap game must’ve been tight.
        *****
        Wasn’t tight enough to seal the deal.

        Liked by 4 people

      2. Trace you let a broke kneegrow holla at you? Ok his rap game must’ve been tight.
        *****
        Wasn’t tight enough to seal the deal.
        ———————
        EXACTLY!!!

        Liked by 2 people

  12. Marriage is a contract. Budgets and finances will always need to be worked out. Unexpected emergencies will come up. How could finances be left out off the table?

    Liked by 6 people

  13. That’s how you’ll know how serious they are. That’s the clue. If they have no goals they will have poor management skills. If they can’t talk about a plan then they’re wasting your time. Like Tracy said “then move on Martha move onβ€œ.

    Liked by 5 people

  14. The one thing that should be addressed is finances and the person’s attitude about it. I know some couples who called off relationships and didn’t get married until a financial understanding was worked out. This is your life people don’t play. Now if you’re both bad with finances then fail 2together but don’t let your partner ruin you financially for the sake of love. Ain’t that much love in the world. It ain’t cute living in a hole and struggling trust me.

    Liked by 2 people

  15. Let me tell you being with someone broke and unable to have finacial stability is a relationship breaker for anyone who is good with finances and not willing to learn

    Liked by 2 people

  16. Are you saving money?
    What are your goals in life?
    Are u married?
    Have you ever been married?
    Based on those questions then you’ll know how far to to take it but notice how I have, are you saving money first.😊

    Liked by 3 people

  17. If we are not on the same level financially even if it is not the right mindset. We have no future. The devil knows how to set us up lovely and I’m not falling for the bullshit.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Marrying someone without knowing where that person stands financially is like dating with your eyes closed. And I know couples do it but how do you not discuss one of the most important things that could effect your future?

    Liked by 1 person

  19. If she’s afraid to talk finances I gotta first find out why? May not necessarily be a red flag for bad with money…I wanna get down to the nitty of it b4 just dumping her

    Liked by 1 person

  20. I’m bad with finances but learning and doing better with saving. I’m glad I no longer have debt so I’m on the right track. I do know that i don’t wanna be financially healthy if my potential partner is financially fucked up. I can’t have him pulling me down. My GF married her man after 5 years and he had bad credit. His bad credit pulled down hers. When he lost his job they stopped paying cc Bill’s so guess what it messed her credit up. If you marry someone with bad credit they will eventually kill yours. No thank you. I can do good by myself.

    Liked by 3 people

  21. If you committed to saving together then you know each other is serious about their finances. If not than you’re wasting each others time. I don’t have time for a man not about his business. Period!

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Oh wow. these comments got me going. That’s why I’m dating and taking my time getting to know my man. We’re taking one day at a time. He’s good for reminding me to trim down on shopping so much and buying lunch 5 days a week and to start bringing in my own lunch. I swear his savings reminder is a real turn on for me. πŸ˜›

    Like

  23. Great advice Tracy.
    You πŸ’―βœ”
    My man was the worst with his finances until he met me. I was honest with him, you either get on board or I’m sorry we have no future. He got on board and quick because he knew I meant business…we’re marrying in the fall with coins stacked in the bank. 😏

    Liked by 2 people

  24. yea money can be the #1 reason couples don’t make it. this was a big deal when i dated my last gurl… she was good at helping me manage my money and save. I miss that, hell I miss her 😦 Trace this article you wrote reminded me of her. DAYUM!!!

    Liked by 1 person

Comments are closed.