When “Why are u not Married” is the question at those holiday gatherings…tonight on “Conversations Of A Sistah”


holiday-questions-660x429It’s that age old question that you know is coming up, especially at those holiday gatherings amongst family and friends. You’re fine, you’re beautiful, you got this “kick-ass personality” successful and established, so why are you not married? How come some man hasn’t come along and snatched you up?

Why do people care? What are they thinking in the back of their minds…how could you be living your life without someone to share it with matrimonially? How could you be surviving without a significant other? But what puzzles me the most is, why should “happily ever after” be contingent upon another being?

When did being single become a sin?

Tune in tonight at 6:30 P.M. on “Conversations Of A Sistah” via Blog Talk Radio, to hear my commentary, experience and opinion regarding this subject matter when these questions are thrown at me. As I take your calls, comments and opinions at 1-917-889-7872. Just remember to press “1” to speak with the host.

All “Conversation links” in this post make it possible to access the show.

In the meantime, sound off here and I’ll see you on the air!

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125 thoughts on “When “Why are u not Married” is the question at those holiday gatherings…tonight on “Conversations Of A Sistah”

  1. Yup that’s why when they ask me why ain’t you married? My answer is, “OH BECAUSE MARRIAGE IS PLAYED OUT?” Folks start falling out after that. 😛

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    • shacking up and having babies outta wedlock has replaced the traditional standards of marriage.
      ———
      Not in my family.

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      • shacking up and having babies outta wedlock has replaced the traditional standards of marriage.
        ———
        2 each his own.

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      • shacking up and having babies outta wedlock has replaced the traditional standards of marriage.
        ———
        NOT 4EVERYBODY. ION WANNA DO EITHER. SMH

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      • shacking up and having babies outta wedlock has replaced the traditional standards of marriage.
        ———
        True!
        Might work for some but not U.

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      • shacking up and having babies outta wedlock has replaced the traditional standards of marriage.
        ———
        Not in my family

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      • shacking up and having babies outta wedlock has replaced the traditional standards of marriage.
        ———
        Not for me, my parents set a different example.

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  2. Tracy’s words never rang truer. Especially when/as you get older. For some people you have not met the status quo if you don’t have a man.

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  3. Well you haven’t met the status quo if you haven’t SNAGGED a man or a man hasn’t snagged you.

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  4. I believe in ORDER…If there’s LOVE, then there should come marriage. Without change there can be no growth. But just because you are not married doesn’t mean you can’t establish both.

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  5. quite frankly I think the question is sexiest because it comes up mostly with women not too much on men. a man can live until he’s 80 and half dead and no one will ever notice that he never got married.

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  6. Palease!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    marriage is a huge step in life. when it happens it happens if it doesn’t you keep on keepin on. a piece of paper defines nothing only what you have with another being does.

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  7. When did being single become a sin?
    *****
    It’s hard for some people to believe that you can be single and still be happy. It’s only when you live with the karma from the hurt you’ve caused others will your happiness be tainted.

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  8. Tuning in. I’m not married because I LOVE being single way too much. Nobody to answer to, come n go when I want and don’t have to worry about someone else’s baggage. Being Single is the bomb.com

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    • come n go when I want and don’t have to worry about someone else’s baggage. Being Single is the bomb.com
      ————
      Henrietta whatz considered baggage for u?

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      • Henrietta whatz considered baggage for u?
        ———-
        1. Kids
        2. Baby mama
        3. An ex wife
        4. Child support
        5. Any kinda of lingering drama is baggage for me

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      • 1. Kids
        2. Baby mama
        3. An ex wife
        4. Child support
        5. Any kinda of lingering drama is baggage for me
        ——–
        Yup but with every man you meet he’s got 1 of the 5 or all. No “thank u” LOL 😆

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      • Henrietta whatz considered baggage for u?
        ———-
        1. Kids
        2. Baby mama
        3. An ex wife
        4. Child support
        5. Any kinda of lingering drama is baggage for me
        ********
        Well dayum! Half the niggaz I know got baggage then.

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      • Henrietta whatz considered baggage for u?
        ———-
        1. Kids
        2. Baby mama
        3. An ex wife
        4. Child support
        5. Any kinda of lingering drama is baggage for me
        *********
        CoSign

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      • 1. Kids so you don’t want a man with kids?
        2. Baby mama if he got kids he gon have a baby mama
        3. An ex wife
        why? this 1 makes no sense to me. If he don’t luv her no more what’s the issue?
        4. Child support Why? as long as he can take care of home what’s the issue
        5. Any kinda of lingering drama is baggage for me ????????

        Ladies the expectations need to be realistic is all I’m saying, especially when almost every other brother out here today got a kid or some kids.

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      • Ladies the expectations need to be realistic is all I’m saying, especially when almost every other brother out here today got a kid or some kids.
        ——–
        Realistic is if, the playing ground is fair, like I got a kid and he’s got a kid but if I have/had none from the gate, yeah see,,,, that would be a real deal breaker for me too. #justsaying

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      • 1. Kids -> so you don’t want a man with kids?
        NOPE!
        2. Baby mama -> if he got kids he gon have a baby mama
        which equals DRAMA don’t want the middle man
        3. An ex wife why? this 1 makes no sense to me. If he don’t luv her no more what’s the issue? 9x outta 10 she still got feelings and he may be still BE trippin on that
        4. Child support Why? as long as he can take care of home what’s the issue?
        It means my man would be taking care of 2 households, like he had me and a CONC….Nah no thank U
        5. Any kinda of lingering drama is baggage for me ????????
        any kind of left over feelings any kind a BS wit the baby mama/past life

        “Ladies the expectations need to be realistic is all I’m saying”
        REALISTIC? “YES” BUT THE DROPPING OF STANDARDS “NO”

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      • It means my man would be taking care of 2 households, like he had me and a CONC….Nah no thank U
        **********
        Ooh I’m learning but whatz a CONC? @Henrietta

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      • It means my man would be taking care of 2 households, like he had me and a CONC….Nah no thank U
        **********
        Ooh I’m learning but whatz a CONC? @Henrietta
        ~~~~~
        Concubine!
        Definition:::: A concubine is a female who voluntarily enslaves and sells herself to a man primarily for his sexual pleasure. Concubines in the patriarchal age and beyond did not have equal status with a wife. A concubine could not marry her master because of her slave status, although, for her, the relationship was exclusive and ongoing.

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      • A concubine is a female who voluntarily enslaves and sells herself to a man primarily for his sexual pleasure. Concubines in the patriarchal age and beyond did not have equal status with a wife. A concubine could not marry her master because of her slave status, although, for her, the relationship was exclusive and ongoing.
        ————
        WoW!!! Ok.

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      • Um, I need Nicole to give us the video for last night closing song cause it was NOT “single ladies”

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      • I need Nicole to give us the video for last night closing song cause it was NOT “single ladies”
        ——–
        Sure was NOT. Tracy’s commentary focused on being comfortable, No I wanna say CONFIDENT in the skin that you’re in and being ‘HAPPY’ about it. So yeah Nicole need to change the station on this one. I loved the show.

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  9. Tracy, “Being single will save you a thousand times more stress than being in the WRONG relationship”

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    • Being single will save you a thousand times more stress than being in the WRONG relationship”
      ******
      That’s SO RIGHT!

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      • “Being single will save you a thousand times more stress than being in the WRONG relationship”

        Amen and hallelujah to that!

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  10. I do want a wife but only when I’m ready. so the questions on marriage don’t faze me. I’m having fun in the meantime thou

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  11. Marriage is honorable and ordained by God. Every man oughta want a wife and every woman should want a husband..

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    • Every man oughta want a wife and every woman should want a husband..
      ——–
      Not when they have the benefits of “marriage like” relationships then marriage by contract is not a reality.

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      • Every man oughta want a wife and every woman should want a husband..
        ——–
        Nowadays a girlfriend or a friend will do, believe it or not everybody ain’t looking to get married. marriage means considering another person. and honestly since I’m not married I really don’t have an opinion on this subject.

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      • Nowadays a girlfriend or a friend will do, believe it or not everybody ain’t looking to get married.
        ————
        I can Co-Sign that @Adam. Not now anyway.

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      • Nowadays a girlfriend or a friend will do, believe it or not everybody ain’t looking to get married.
        ————
        Sho-ya RIGHT!!!

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      • Every man oughta want a wife and every woman should want a husband..
        ——–
        This statement depends on your preference. Because women are now choosing women as wives and men are choosing men as wives. so smh

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  12. “why should “happily ever after” be contingent upon another being?”

    Technically, it shouldn’t……you should be happily single b4 hooking up with somebody. marriage and a man won’t make you happy

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  13. Nothing wrong with asking the question “why are u not married yet?” or whatever…. it’s all about how you respond and how you feel about said question. Is it bothersome when asked? I know it can be a real pain in the ass simply because society want you to believe you’re inadequate without a man or woman in your life. I say “live” “love” and be “happy” and all that other lingering stuff will fall into place.

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  14. I use to hate being asked that question too. Can’t wait to hear how Tracy’s gonna spin it on the show tonight. Because I would always feel uncomfortable and wouldn’t know what to say when i was asked “You an’t married yet?” but I did or was made to feel some kind of way about NOT BEING MARRIED at the time. It’s all about being SECURE with whatever status life finds you in IMO

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  15. My aunt Clara ~ Wanda when you gettn married gurl?
    Me ~ when I fall madly in love and can’t live w/o him….until then I’ll keep doin me

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  16. Why are you not married Neesy?
    My answer:::::::::: -> Been then, done that, not ready to do it again. 😛

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  17. Tracy’s gonna spin the SHIT out This conversation tonight>>>>>>> until the cows come home. she gone have niggaz getting engaged for xmas. LOL 😆

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    • Well I wanna get married cause the sex’ll be free. Giggling*
      ——–
      Really? It might be FREE but it damn shole won’t be often LMMFA

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      • Well I wanna get married cause the sex’ll be free. Giggling*
        ——–
        get married you’ll see. nigga it’s free now w/o the ring and commitment. you just have to position yourself to receive.

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  18. Being happy regardless to your marital status should be relevant when faced with this question. I’m sure Ms. Bell aka Blog Queen will agree.

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  19. Women who give up on love and marriage are easily prone at being comfortable in the role as the other woman.

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  20. Tracy THE SHOW WAS HOT…I’M SO ATTRACTED BY YA CONFIDENCE. AND YOUR RIGHT IF YOU AIN’T HAPPY BEING SINGLE HOW YOU GONE BE HAPPILY MARRIED.

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  21. Much Respect to Tracy, she was asked that question on Thanksgiving. See makes sense now. 🙂 Tracy almost PREACHED that commentary tonight.

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      • she has mad confidence. that’s what’s attracting.
        ——–
        Tracy? aka Blog Queen? she does which is why I believe she’s not married. Some men are intimidated by a woman’s confidence.

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  22. Excellent point n how to respond to this question 😛 I loved how you made it a point to stress how happiness is what matters in the gram scheme of things.

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  23. Just caught the shows rewind and it was way too short. I wanted to hear MORE!!!! But you made ya point Ms. TraBell. It was a good topic.

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  24. Tracy I like how you spoke from experience yet BLESSED us with the grace on how to love yourself in the process.
    Oh YES I’ve read “Conversations Of A Sistah” and was so PROUD when you said “It took you a long time to get to your happiness” that truly brought tears 😥 to my eyes. You went from bitter to better and there’s a lesson in that.

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    • Oh YES I’ve read “Conversations Of A Sistah” and was so PROUD when you said “It took you a long time to get to your happiness”
      ——-
      Yes after all that church BS she talks about in her book! And you peep how she speaks so openly about her “married pastor” and his wife. Sounds like she’s happy now where she is…..Good for her. It was a good show and a much needed topic.

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