According to a recent report: more couples, especially those without college degrees, are turning down marriage in favor of cohabitating and shacking up. Marriage is still far more common, with 58 percent of adults aged 30-44 married as of 2009, compared with 7 percent living with an opposite-sex partner, according to the study from the Pew Research Center.
But cohabitation rates have doubled over the past 15 years, and the marriage rate has plummeted among those without college degrees, according to the study. In 1995, 63 percent of adults in the 30-44 age bracket without degrees were married, but by last year that had fallen to 56 percent. Meanwhile the cohabitation/shacking up rate doubled from 4 to 8 percent.
The cohabitation rate also doubled among those with college degrees, from 2 to 5 percent, but the marriage rate remained almost unchanged at 71 percent.
Is marraige over-rated for some? What’s your opinion Family?
Discuss…
Conversations Of A Sistah 
No I’m holding out for marriage after I get my college degree.
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No I’m holding out for marriage after I get my college degree.
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that’s right girl!!!!!! don’t just be giving your stuff away for free. 🙂 make em pay!
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@Felicia, I agree with you on 100% GURL!!!!!!!!
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ain’t nobody gettin married no more. marriage and a wifey don’t mean shit!
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ain’t nobody gettin married no more. marriage and a wifey don’t mean shit!
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And that’s just why there will be MORE ba$tard$ running around here WITHOUT a father, because the man will have no reason to stay. Grant it, a ring and a piece of paper is no guarantee………but, it’ll make them BOTH think really hard about a divorce, especially when they’re talking about spliting up assets.
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@Queen, there are not too many “bastard children running around with out a father… I agree with you.
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some people do that usually, they move in together to test the waters to see whether they can live together and then decide to get married. shacking up seems way better to me.
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Many people go into marriage wanting this security but have never prepared for, achieved or maintained this level of security before they got married. I think the problem here is it creates a false sense of security. Now that they are married, they do not know how to create this level of emotional security. Children born in this state rarely have fathers.
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This whole shacking up “trend” has been going for quite some time now, especially amongst couples with kids…The baby momma plays house with the baby daddy while there’s no ring in sight majority of the time. It’s sad but that’s what some people settle for.
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I’ve done the whole shacking up thing & highly recommend anyone who’s currently considering it, to thoroughly think it through & be completely sure that’s the route they wish to go, especially if only “1” or neither are generating a healthy income…FACT!
The best thing is to get married 1st, then think about forming a home with the significant other. Bottom line is marriage nor shacking up are for kids since it takes 2 mature, financially stable, emotionally/psychologically available, level headed, COMMITTED adults to make it work!
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Amen!
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getting married before living with your partner is foolish. when you live with someone and they front half time to put on an act 24/7 you really see who they are. then you can have more information for your self to see if this is the person your really want to marry.
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From a serious relationship standpoint, I think we all have rights to know what exactly we are getting ourselves into as the divorce rates are nearly 50%.. The benefits of living together is that you save more on the cost of living, you get to see how responsible your partner is financially, and how clean of a person they really are. Also, I think after you’ve lived together 6months to a year you should be able to make a clear decision about the next direction you want to take. If you’re living together over 2 years and no decision has been declared –>somebody’s playing games <–
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–>somebody’s playing games <– ->>> and house too!
I’ll NEVER lower my standards by living with a man. If I have to work in micky dees to pay my damn rent I would.
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Its not wise to get married before 30 anyway until you’ve figured out what you want out of life, and who you want to get old with!
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Shacking up, is two single people living 2gether with nothing to lose. After that age there is no such thing as shacking up, especially when you have kids and bills to pay. Its called making it work!
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Shacking up, can be a good thing and a bad thing.
Bad, because some will get into a comfort zone and not want to take it to the next level, thinking the other person is good with just living together.
Good, because it may save them from a divorce later on. You never know how a person lives until you are living with them. What are their cleaning habits, sleep habits as well as many other things, but the bigggest is probably the live in sex habits, as well as getting to actually see their spending habits, which is why a lot of people get a divorce, so I guess it has it’s pros and cons. Just don’t bring kids into this situation.
To each is own: Do you, whatever works for YOU!
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my mama always said, “why buy the COW if you can get the milk for free” 🙂
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LOL 🙂 your mama and mine too.
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my mama always said, “why buy the COW if you can get the milk for free”
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AMEN @Lisa,
If a marriage proposal hadn’t happen within a year or two of living together, sorry to break the news, it probably won’t happen.
Lisa, I Had an uncle from the south, he said something to me once that I considered profound, he said to me, “Son, why you gonna buy the cow, when you can get the milk free”.. As southern and country as it might sound, he was saying when you can have the best of both worlds with no commitment or investment, why mess it up…
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my mama always said, “why buy the COW if you can get the milk for free”
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I agree that “If a marriage proposal hadn’t happen within a year or two of living together, it probably won’t happen” but I’ve never understood WHY people EVER created this line “why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free??”
1.Men and Women both have goods, not just Women.
2.You should never purchase ANYTHING without knowing its true potentials for yourself. Maybe this is why divorce rates nearly 50%.
3.When you say “buy the cow” “You’ve just described yourself as a “good” and nothing more waiting to be consumed…
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I’ve done it and although I learned ALOT, ALOT about my partner that I didn’t know before we lived together and had been together for 2 years, I wouldn’t do it again. It didn’t end well and living with that fool was HORRIBLE, so I just don’t see myself marrying and living with him again, for real y’all.
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I think there are many reasons people shack up:
1.) They can’t afford a place on their own.
2.) They can’t afford bills on their own.
3.) They don’t wanna live with parents and younger siblings after the age of 22.
4.) Some people don’t want to move back to the town they grew up in
5.) No real jobs!
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Damn Boo, you really thought this thing thru.
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LOL 🙂 @ Civil,
Trust me I know because I know some people who live together for some of those VERY reasons.
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wassup fam….money is always the bottom line. whether married or shacking up. and don’t y’all 4get it people. money answers all things
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Jay-Z said it best “more money more problems, gotta move carefully”
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money is always the bottom line. whether married or shacking up. and don’t y’all 4get it people. money answers all things
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Im thinking divorce rates would probably be about the same, with or without a degree.. They say money is one of the leading causes of divorce…
Who’s happier varies by the people in the relationship and their values.
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I think you should try living together for a little bit after you are engaged, and try to work through the differences. I think, just like any relationship, it depends on the personalities of the two and honestly, that’s most important.
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I would at least live together for a few months after I was engaged…I would wanna test the waters.
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I’ve learned that no matter how much you Love someone, that doesn’t mean that you are meant to be together.
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True, great way to put it…
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I say, don’t do it!!!
“Shacking up” might work for some, but in my experience and my opinion, if you are doing it in hopes of getting married later, chances are, you probably won’t.
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We are living in revelations the signs are all around us. You can tell people are not doing right by God or themselves
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Cohabitation studies have repeatedly shown that people who live together before being married have higher rates of marital dissatisfaction and divorce. Look it up people
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yeah, but um its 2011 and society has changed, dramatically.. I still say it depends on the circumstances of those two people who are living together. There’s alot of variables you need to factor in when you consider cohabitation having the higher rates of marital dissatisfaction such as age, education, and current job status. Your not convincing me or any other respected publisher capable of developing statistical data, that if you adjust the aformentioned key variables, you can significantly change those results.. Take that from a professional.
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Man, these devils have black folks mirroring everything they do. In the beginning they used the court to get whom ever you are interested in, as well as not having sex untill you get married. But this devil gave us condoms, like even though the LAW is no sex before marriage, if ya really want to do it….take this, that way you are protected.
See this devil will mix falsehood with truth, and make Evil seem fairseemingly……this science keeps us asleep and off the track to righteousness. This formula is used to have us THINKING and ACTING on the lowest form. Always willing to settle for our LOWEST DESIRES!
Then made us to believe what we are doing is the NORM and it is okay…………does anyone see the Devils NATURE? Black skin, white nature!
This world acts like there has NOt even been a prophet that has visited us!
This slavemaster has MASTER the ART of killing us without even touching us, we kill each other on many different levels now. Worst of all……….this shaitan has completely taken the desire out of us to even think on our own accord………we believ almost everything he puts out………ZZZZZzZzZZZzzzz rocked to sleep, ignorance is a bliss……right?
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Nigga WTF is you trying to say????? You started off kinda good but I got LOST in your transalation!
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LMMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!! @Slick!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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🙂 LOL @ “Nigga WTF is you trying to say?????”
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I would never marry someone I hadn’t lived with, living with someone is the true test of a relationship
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Uma just go on ahead and question marriage itself:
Marriage is a religious sacrament. It was created to tell Men and Women how to live with each other with the goal of raising children.
BUT
1. Is it wise to marry someone, whose character and physical compatibility you do not know?
2. Why would someone promise to love, honor and whatever, if they do not really really know each other?
3. There is no informed consent with marriage, because you do not know really, who you are marrying.
It would be IMO, wise to confirm personal standards, emotional and mental standards and physical compatibility before making a life-long commitment. This rarely happens, “so to answer Trace’s question” this sacrament of marriage is no longer effective.
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NEGROE PLEASE!!!!!!!!!
I’m oldschool, I know Love will only take it so far, I think if you work on your marriage each and everyday, you are bound to reap the rewards..ie..Happiness, Understanding, Compromise etc.. If the almighty is not all up in it and anointed it, it probably wont last anyways…
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True story….
Man lives with woman for 2 years.
Man suddenly dies in car accident.
The mama (of the man) swoops in and takes her sons possessions.
The mama (of the man) doesn’t allow the woman to attend the funeral, etc of the man because of bad blood over the years.
The mama (of the man) gets insurance money (she was beneficiary(sp) not the woman)
The woman was left with nothing because she had no rights what so ever. She couldn’t even get his social security. Two years and she is treated like it didn’t even happen.
Say what you will or may but that peice of paper is important!
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@G, I agree with every WORD YOU SAID!!!! When you have no rights you don’t get JACK!!!!!!!!!! and that “piece of paper” allows you the right!
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Amen @ Starr and G! 🙂
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I cosign G!!!!!!!!!!!
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If the LORD ain’t at the forefront, then it will never be all that it can be, if anything much at all.
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If the LORD ain’t at the forefront, then it will never be all that it can be, if anything much at all.
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you sound like my mama. ain’t for shacking up tho. when I’m ready I’ll wife the right chick!
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If the LORD ain’t at the forefront, then it will never be all that it can be, if anything much at all.
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SUEWEE, with all due respect, but using your line of thinking, knowone would ever get married.IMO, I think you are way out on a limb, come back closer to reality before that limb breaks
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“@SUEWEE, with all due respect, but using your line of thinking, knowone would ever get married.IMO, I think you are way out on a limb, come back closer to reality before that limb breaks —->@Angelhair, you sound lonely Boo Boo. “And loneliness is not the loss of affection, but the loss of direction”. I pray that you find your way.
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@angelhair, with all due respect everyone have an opinion on this subject REZPECT that here!
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SUEWEE, with all due respect, but using your line of thinking, knowone would ever get married.IMO, I think you are way out on a limb, come back closer to reality before that limb breaks
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@Angelhair,
You sound very bitter and misinformed. I hope that you’ll research marriage a bit more OR atleast become involved in a relationship where “love is exchanged”. Until you find love OR love finds you, your views will never change because it”s difficult to fully explain or express why 2 people would want to dedicate their love, affection, time, money, or their seed into another individual and that should ALL be of God.
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I’m on the Lord’s side y’all, cause leaving this decision (marraige) to pure passion and sex has not produced the desired results.
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Angelhair don’t believe in God she’s an athiest!!!!!! so ya’ll gotta overlook her ignorance.
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as much as I love the pooh nah nah, i ain’t living with no chick unless i am married…end of story
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as much as I love the pooh nah nah, i ain’t living with no chick unless i am married…end of story
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I hear you dawg!
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sorry for the double post i got excited.
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as much as I love the pooh nah nah, i ain’t living with no chick unless i am married…end of story
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I hear ya dawg
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although shacking up may be popular you lose the benefits of being married.
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although shacking up may be popular you lose the benefits of being married.
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Exactly and marriage supposedly come with a lot of benefits and I want every last one of em. 🙂
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some people shack up for convenience and the financial benefits of it all. every situation is different.
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