To single mothers…
A new study shows that, unwed mothers are giving birth at an alarming rate choosing to raise their babies alone and without the fathers.
The black community’s 72 percent rate eclipses that of most other groups, who were born to unwed mothers in 2008, the most recent year for which government figures are available.
Natalie Carroll (a Houston based OB/GYN) said, “Girls think they don’t have to get married, when I tell them children deserve both a mother and a father”. “And that a mother cannot give all of what a man can give.” “A truly involved father figure offers more fullness to a child’s life.”
There are so many arguments as to why black women have children without marriage.
The black community has fallen into this horribly dysfunctional equilibrium with unwed mothers and the situation just doesn’t work.”
Blacks as a group will never be equal while they have this situation going on, where the vast majority of children do not have fathers in the home married to their mother, involved in their lives, investing in them and investing in the next generation.
Instead these single mothers are raising unruly children, disrespectful, bitter with resentment and enraged with hate.
Do you think this “pandemic” is as big a cause of concern as these experts seem to think? Or is it perfectly possible to raise a well-balanced child and create a stable community without marriage?
Sound off CEO fam, what do you think?
Conversations Of A Sistah 
THIS IS WHY OUR SONS BECOME HOMOS! FELLAS, WE NEED TO STAY IN OUR SONS LIVES!
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“WE NEED TO STAY IN OUR SONS LIVES!”
@Adam, I agree.
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“he should have used a condom” attitude is why there is such a high rate of illegitimacy and abortions in the black community.
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If a woman wanted a child, she should just say. I wanted a child regardless if I did or didn’t have a husband or committed partner. Women should stop playing games and using make believe excuses for the reason that their a single parent. Hopefully, the man is an emotionally and financially supportive sperm donor because in a lot of cases that’s all he really is. Willingly or unwillingly.
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A woman is ultimately responsible for her pregnancy because it’s her body. Isn’t that what’s said when a woman goes to have an abortion with or without the approval of the man? It’s her body. Isn’t that what a woman says who wants to have a baby with or without the man’s consent? The law says it’s the woman’s body and her decision. Is a man also responsible? Absolutely, whether he wants to be responsible or not. If a man loves respects and likes the woman as a person he will marry her. If the man loves the woman he will love the child. If he doesn’t love her, it’s a 50/50 toss as to whether he will love the child. The answer and solution is to stop having babies by men who don’t love, respect and in a lot of chances like you. Sex for recreation and procreation, know the difference.
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I saw this yesterday on MSNBC.
There’s a lot of work to be done regarding this issue. Having a baby is a choice.
It’s about time we got to the real root of the issue but, let’s face it, people are going to do whatever they want to do, no matter the consequences.
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No children still waiting for a better situation and still trying to better myself.
Having children is beyond one person to me but usually all the black community sees is one person making a very selfish and uneducated decision when it comes to parenting black children.
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If they have pills to make the man stay hard for 15 hours, then why not have a pill to to have men control getting a woman pregnant?
I think it’s REAL STRANGE that after all these years, there is no MALE birth control pill. Give the responsibility to the MAN and then we’ll see some drastic changes.
Morning fam. 🙂
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too many men are making babies everywhere and not taking responsibility to care for them! It doesn’t matter if you wanted to get her pregnant or not, you did.. so deal with it!!
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black women stop having children out of wedlock. That would stop all of this foolishness.
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@slick,
i cosign.,
better yet, black women ‘keep your legs closed period’
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There is no need for studies, there is no need for analysis. This is not rocket science people. and yes it is as simple as Apple Pie.
Women need to stop having unprotected sex, with men, before they know that this man is the type of man, who is not ging to allow his child to go without a father.
Also women need to realize that giving it up to a man to keep him is not going to work, because if you give it up, without birth control or protection, you WILL KEEP HIM, until you invite a bun in the oven.
The analyzing needs to be done by women before they spread their legs to men without some type of protection.
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This is a complicated issue with no one group to blame, black men or black women.
All I know is I AM NOT BLIND! All the dick in the world couldn’t get me to fall for someone that would end up leaving me barefoot & pregnant-
I have a higher sense of self worth than to put myself/my child in a fucked up situation.
I wish I could slap single black women, stop pretending the situation couldn’t be avoided- do better!! Aim higher! Stop fucking with these no good thugs, they shouldn’t dictate your future- you control your destiny.
Most black men will bone anything that walks, does it have to be you!? Let them slowly destroy themselves & hopefully THEN they will wake the fuck up & start acting right- don’t let them drag u down with them. O.K, rant over!
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Seventy- two percent!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!DAMN……………….I’m glad I’m not in those numbers
What up fam.
‘smooches tracy baby’
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Black Men have to do better and Black Women have to choose better.
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I think the problem would be solved if women would stop sleeping with guys outside of marriage. There’s a solution right there. This would also help the issues with black men not wanting to get married.
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Now, if you can invent the machine to make that happen, I’m investing!!!! Or at the very least, DON’T have a kid UNTIL you get a husband!!!!!
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@angel-hair,
did i touch a nerve? what? fucking is a weakness of yours? there’s no machine, the trick is self control. and ‘no’ i won’t have kids until i’m married and may not have any then.
it’s too early for ya bullshit but u’m i’m ready for you.
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lol @ OJ..you tell er gurl!
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What do you expect these black women are W.H.O.R.E.S..They sleep with the worse men then complain when the dude bounce on them…Maybe when these W.H.O.R.E.S get sum standards then things will change but as long as they sexin every..thug, wanna be rapper, drug dealer, career criminal, uneducated dude, block legend, no future havin man, then thats what will happen.
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negroid where the ‘fuck’ did you come from ‘with have a brain’ in that fucked up comment?
i’m not even going to address that ignant shit you just spilled. gtfoh!!!
how can you label black women whores? are you a pimp?
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IScream,
Stop calling women whores. Not everyone that has a child out of wedlock is a whore.
I do have a son and no I am not married but I am far from a whore… I’ve been with my fiance for close to 7 yrs and who happens to be the only person I’ve been intimate with… Instead of bashing women, why don’t men take more responsibility for their actions as well instead of tucking their penis inbtwn their legs like a bytch…
IT takes 2 ppl to have sex stupid.
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@Angel-hair,
7 yrs with a man, a ring and one son and you’re still not his wife? what is he waiting for? your son to walk you down the isle. why does sex and the baby come before marriage in this day and age?
sounds like the ring is a front! tell ya man to set the date.
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For real @Angel-hair,
It’s like Common said “Too many Black women can say that they’re mothers but can’t say that they’re wives.”
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HOW ABOUT CLOSING YOUR FVCKIN LEGS!!! but alot of black women have trouble doing that.
In my opinion (and I’m a black woman) it has to do with low self-asteem.
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Thank you and amen! ENOUGH ALREADY!
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Black women are the ones soley at fault! At the end of the day, she CAN a.)take the pill and/or b.)order him to wear a condom.
Women choose men not the other way around. Let’s be clear here, we’re not talking rape!!! If a woman doesn’t want a man to enter inside her without a condom, IT AIN’T GONNA FUCKKING HAPPEN!!!!
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I’m so tired of this issue. I blame both men and women for this current mess.
People need to stop being sexually irresponsible! I have been with my girlfriend for a few years now and not once have we had a pregnancy scare!
When I was dating other women I did not have a pregnancy scare. Want to know why? Because I know how to wear a F*ckin condom. Either the woman was on the pill (which I confirmed for myself) or I provided my own condoms! Damn I’m tired of black people making excuses for their behavior! Too damn irresponsible and oversexed!
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I didn’t read through the comments. Most of them…well let’s just say…hmmmm…anyway lol. The question was “should we be concerned?” The answer is “yes”
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Women don’t want to marry men who can’t provide for their families, and welfare laws created a financial incentive for poor mothers to stay single”
But why did they make Kids with these men? even they cant stand responsible for the kids they made out of wedlock.
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You’ve only got to watch Maury to see this statistic come to life, or walk down the street of a ghetto neighbourhood. All you see is women pushing prams with not a father in sight. And it’s not just Black women either I see a lot of ‘working-class white women doing the same.
But yeah I guess because we are a minority the rate of it is higher among us Black people.
It’s simple:
1. Women need to stop sleeping with men who they KNOW cannot provide financially for them if they were to have a child. Aim higher or keep your legs closed
2. Women need to stop sleeping with the kind of men who they KNOW will not man up to their fatherly responsibilities. Again I say aim higher
3. Use CONTRACEPTION if you do not want to get pregnant (same goes for men)
4. Men need to accept their fatherly responsibilities when they get a girl pregnant
5. Men need to stop sleeping with hoodrat chicks who are more than likely having unprotected sex with other guys making it harder for you to know if the child is really yours without a paternity test. Aim higher or wrap it up
In an ideal world people would keep to this advice but it’s just one of those things that you can’t really do anything about. People make their own choices in life, be it good or bad. It’s just a shame that it’s becoming a ‘Black problem.’
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well it takes two to make a child., so if the guy bails after having a child its not the womans fault.
Men have kids then move on to the next its sick and sad but its life! . . .I am 22 and i dont have kids i think alot of women should prepare themselves to be single mothers anyways because anything can happen..
its so important to finsh school and grind it out before having children so you dont have to resort to welfare or anyone else .how many husbands leave/cheat thier wives so it doesnt mean just because your married your safe from being a single mother.
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Yep, sounds like you’re gonna be a babymama pretty soon.
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i will only become a babymama if you jump off a bridge first .. agreed ?:-)
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There is a difference in being a single mom and an unwed mother. Women lose their husbands to death and divorce everyday. Having an illegitimate child because you can afford it makes the child no less illegitimate.
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I actually agree with you. Men are very untrustworthy and all women should be prepared for their relationship to end. He will most likely cheat. At no point should a woman believe that a man is going to stick around and she has to be sure she can provide for her family. That means stashing money away, having a great support system and making sure your skills stay current for the job market. As one poster put it, don’t expect too much from men.
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wow.,would never wanna become apart of the statistics.
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didO!
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well ladies,
you could do 1 of 2 things, 1.) keep ya leggs crossed/closed and 2.) make a brotha ‘wrap it up’
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your comment @civil, noble but not realistic.
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@corp,
so i guess i should encourage the sistas to go ‘fuck it on the mountains-over the hill and everywhere’??? damn what sounds better to you? realistic or not, it will eleviate DRAMA 101.
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Noble civil but true!
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@corp,
ain’t nobody stutten you! lol.
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“well ladies, you could do 1 of 2 things, 1.) keep ya leggs crossed/closed and 2.) make a brotha ‘wrap it up’”
yep @civil, cause i refuse to be hoodwinked!
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There is no hoodwinking, our community needs to stop producing Ray Rays at a record rate, educate our children, rebuild our community and love between our men and women, and tune our kids into PBS instead of BET. We should try to suppress teen pregnancy and encourage successful relationships that can help the climate of marriage instead of being so combative against one another. But we still have to OWN up to our personal and individual responsibilities. Brothers, you are not rappers, sisters, you are not a video vixen. Women use contraception and men use condoms. Women, your body is YOURS not HIS. PREVENT UNWANTED pregnancy. Sistas who tried it the right way and it didn’t work, I am sorry – keep your head up. Men who have been wronged, tried to be husbands and fathers and was wronged when your kids were used as weapons against you, I am sorry keep your head up.
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Damn @CDawg,
well said *claps my hands* well said!
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I co-sign ceodawg! I co-sign!!!
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@CEODAWG:
So TRUE!
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Well said @ceodawg,
Ladies,
Save your virginity until u are married!
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@Audrey,
How old are you might I ask? Because any adult in today’s world would know that that solution is neither practical nor realistic.
So you’re really young and you don’t fully understand these things yet and you’re just repeating what your mommy and daddy told you or this could be a religious belief of yours.
If your reasoning is based on religion please understand that not everyone shares your religious beliefs and in today’s society religion is becoming more and more irrelevant as time goes on.
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@Audrey –> amen!
@Angelhair –> even if for religious reason, celibacy is a moral issue. so don’t knock anyone else for their high standards. everybody don’t treat their vagina’s like it’s a nick-nack, they value their bodies and no one is asking you to share their beliefs.
and um btw, their age is NONE of your business and their comment wasn’t juvenile.
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thanks civil..lol.
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Black women need to stop dating and procreating with men who are of no value/little value to them. Stop thinking that black men are your only options. Don’t get pregnant by any man unless you are married. And if the men you are accustomed to dating are not marriage-minded, then date other races of men who are. some black women are CLUELESS when it comes to picking a mate.
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One good parent is better than two bad ones. I am a gainfully employed public school teacher, I deal with messed up children from two parent households every day.
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I say, if the condom breaks take the moring after pill. If that doesn’t work and you do get preggers, sit down with your man and TALK about what will happen next. SIMPLE as THAT!!! You can’t force a man to be a father!
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@mamacita,
How about taking birth control before the condom, before the morning after pill and before the talk. Makes too much sense to me.
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We should be very concerned. Black women need to stop opening their legs to black men and getting pregnant if they are not married. Black women need to date other races of men who possess the values of marriage.
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@anonymous,
are you trying to imply that black men don’t value the sanctity of marraige? don’t throw your ideas or beliefs OUT on an entire race of men because YOUR DEAD wrong. I’m one black man who can’t wait to marry the LOVE of my life. and no we have no children as of yet.
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@anonymous,
Ummm, have you seen the divorce rate in the United States? It seems other races of men don’t have it altogether either.
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Thank God I married my black queen
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Marriage in today’s society, is not as important as it was years ago, which can be the reason why we are seeing more and more of this single mother trend. Back then, most women were getting married in mid-late teens. Our society roles has changed so much, women arent wanting to just settle for being a homemaker. These are pursuing careers, etc. Most men nowadays, not all, are lazy, weak and full of excuses, afraid of hardwork and do not understand the importance of family. There are some men right now sitting on the couch watching football, with no job while their girlfriends/wives are working 2 jobs and raising kids. That is not how it should be. Dont get it twisted, women need to work on being more encouraging and let our men take the role in which they should be in. And that’s hard to do when you dealing with a weak man. ANYWAY, It’s really hard to pinpoint why there are so many single unwed mothers and its easy to point the finger and blame it on “weak-irresponsible-” men or “immature-standardless” women. It takes 2 to make a baby, so both parties are equally responsible for the well-being of their offspring. My question is, just because a woman gets pregnant out of wedlock, is marriage or abortion the only options? NO!! Abortions arent easy, especially mentally for anyone and getting married because of a baby is ridiculous. Protected sex and Birth control is the only logical way to control it. I definately do respect the women who are holding the down the fort. There are many women who are taking care of kids by themselvdes, working full-time, going to school on the side and are unmarried. So big ups to those ladies. For young women out there who do not want to be apart of this perentage, please start setting standards for yourself. Understand what it is you want out of life and the kinds of people you see yourself sharing it with. Dont waste your time chasing a buster that is not willing to change and be the man you want and need for life. Please dont think having a baby will keep a man or make him grow up. You will be sadly dissapointed.
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Black women refuse to protect themselves. Improperly use birth control, or do not use it @ all. Women should consider condoms as disease control, NOT birth control. Birth control is the SOLE RESPONSIBILITY OF THE FEMALE. No matter what ANY chick says, at the end of the day, unless raped, they are solely responsible for who and what goes in and out of their puzzy. Women who married, had kids, got divorced, we are not talkiing about you at all, so breathe easy.
There will NEVER be enough decent men to father all these Ray Ray sperm donors… and yes, children NEED a father just like a mother, despite what black women have been tricked into believing.
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@SlitherinIn,
You are absolutely correct in your statement. It’s a woman’s body and she is responsible for who “comes” and goes. A responsible woman ensures she is on birth control and/or the man is wearing a condom. Too many women see a baby as a status symbol or an accessory. It’s disgusting!
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I’ve read several of the comments, and alot of you seems to keep pointing fingers at the women @slitherin.
It takes two to tango. Both parties need to be responsible for themselves. A box of condoms is a lot cheaper than 18 years of child support.
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Men dont get pregnant Mahogany,
so it is up to the woman to be more responsible with her body. You cant expect someone to respect your body if you dont respect yourself. Women need to stop looking for excuses and start taking care of their most cherished gift. No one should take care of your body other than you.
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I know this is old, but I can see why we have this problem based on some of the comments here. Many black women do protect themselves or choose to not have sex at all before marriage. There will always be loose and dimwitted women, there are white ones too. You know what white men do when they sleep with them, they wear a condom. So the men on here saying it is the women’s responsibility I see you are the ones getting these types of women pregnant. You need to respect YOUR body more… I hear everybody talking about birth control, birth control but at the end of the day a baby is not the worst thing you can walk away with after a sexual encounter. SO WHY ARE PEOPLE NOT USING CONDOMS EVERY TIME THEY SLEEP WITH SOMEONE THEY ARE NOT MARRIED TO!!! HUH, do we not remember AIDS can be a death sentence and HERPES is forever…uggh!! It is both parties responsibility to pursue a safe sexual encounter. Stop sleeping around and hoping for the best.
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Russel, if you have enough common sense to direct this respect your body comment at women I don’t understand why you don’t have enough common sense to direct that at your fellow man. Every women is not sleeping around, so why does it seem like the ones that are have a lot of gentlemen callers and all of those men are not lacking common sense. As proven by your statement. Like yourself, some have a lack of good judgement expecting a dubious women to take care of child prevention matters. If she doesn’t have the good sense to not sleep with every Tom, Dick and Harry, what makes you think she’ll have enough sense to use contraception safely or at all. It doesn’t matter who gets pregnant, even if after unprotected sex there was the possibility the stork could bring you a baby 9 months later, why would any self-respecting man not have the sense to say I don’t want kids or more importantly a DISEASE so I will wear this condom. I am not saying this is what is happening in your life, maybe you are speaking on a hypothetical situation, but I hope if you are, your not laying down with these sorts. My advice to you and any man who thinks this way is: Any women that won’t FORCE you to wear a CONDOM even if she is ON THE PILL is not worth knowing!! We as adults are responsible for the parents we pick for our future children so ladies and gentleman if you are laying down with a dubious partner unprotected, you become a shady partner by default.
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Russell,
I respect my body and myself whole heartly and I refuse to have babies out of wedlock.
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SAME FOR WOMEN!! THIS IS NOT A ONE SIDED ISSUE. YOU PEOPLE ARE EMBARRASSING YOURSELVES ATTEMPTING TO BLAME UNWANTED PREGNANCIES ON ONE PARTY WHEN IT TAKES TWO TO MAKE ONE. WHERE IS THE LOGIC? THAT SAME FINGER POINTING IRRESPONSIBILITY IS THE ROOT OF THE PROBLEM AT HAND.
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The logic is easy. If a woman is pregnant, no man can force her to get an abortion, her body is hers. As a matter of fact, a woman’s body is hers before, during, and after a pregnancy, which include conception and even the choice of partner for concieving. You cannot own all of that and not own the responsibility of your OWN body. Even before you MET the future dead beat father. Women of sexual age, should either A) Want children or B) Have mechanisms in place (a.k.a. birth control) to prevent such unwanted pregnancy. The respoinsibility of a woman’s body is hers alone. All a man can do is ASK for sex. A woman controls the tool that goes in her body and plants the seed, she either allows it or disallows it, she is the gatekeeper, and therefore responsible. You let him in, plain and simple.
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so watz the dick for???
oh yeah it carries the seed dickheads
thats the problem right there…you guys NEVER WANT THE RESPONSIBILITY OF RAISING YOUR KIDS AS THE RECORD SHOWS YOU ALL BAIL OUT ALL THE TIME AND THATS WHY IT IS ON THE SCALE THAT IT IS if more men would man up and stick in there for their families instead of high tailin all the time and not cheat this would solve part of the problem
you say the hoodratz should close they legs well stop being in between they leggs.
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GTFOH all these dudes going around not wraping it up is why there is a problem…or how about vasectimy there you go
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Again, no one can negate the fact that women have the most control over pregnancy. You can’t argue that away. If guys had means just as effective in the form of a creme, patch, etc. These rates would drop that is for sure. And if it is ever created I advise you to seriously invest in the company making this product. Because every dude all over the nation will have a birth control patch on his back in the club every night all over Internationally.
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This 16 and pregnant fad BS has to stop.
I am sick of all these fatherless kids terrorizing the citizens of this country. Men need to be held responsible for their sperm! The streets are raising a part of their bodies with no consequences to the producers of the sperms.
Moreover I think both are responsible, but woman carry more blame in society because they have a choice on letting him leave his sperm or not.
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WHY WOULD YOU STICK YOUR BARE PEEN INTO A WOMAN IF YOU DONT EVEN RESPECT HER ENOUGH TO RAISE HER CHILD? WHY WOULD YOU STICK YOUR BARE PEEN INTO ANY WOMAN IF YOU DONT WANT A CHILD? WHY WOULD YOU STICK YOUR BARE PEEN INTO ANY WOMAN WHO IS NOT YOUR WIFE?
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How do we know this accurate ppl? Check the CDC website or planned parenthood. Statistically white women have DOUBLE the abortions than blacks. Put the pieces together. This is a pathetic attempt to knock us down!!!
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@ Quenetta,
it is a known fact that the media does not want the white people protrayed as bottom bucket bitches
they do more drugs(hard drugs) in the suburps
more abortions
and their babies are included in this 72% with us, ANOTHER WAY THEY USE PREJUDICES , go the fuck figure
they mess with the numbers so they look above standard……NOT
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Attempt to knock us down? Honey have you been outside lately? We do a great job killing ourselves. I didn’t see the CDC with their statisticians outside the grocery store when 3 black hoodrats were cussing out their children under 4. But I saw it. You must be very, very, very, very, very, very young to blame a reporting agency for the bad behavior I see in black (and everyone else too) folks.
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Young women need to be tought to respect Gods plan. A baby without a husband does not guarantee anything.
So, they have a baby and then end up taking care of it on their own. If we stick with Gods plan then this will more likely be avoided. If one does not choose the Chritian path then atleast choose a logical one. If youre going to have sex be protected or at the very least be on some form of birth control, that way no one else has to suffer from your careless behavior. I do not believe that we need to drill the ideaology that having a baby out of wedlock or unprepared is a no no as much as we used to. Young girls grow up seeing this everywhere. What we do need to instill is how UNcute this is, how irresponsible this is, this is not the correct way to raise a child, and there is a better life if you just wait. There are too many examples walking around society leading young girls to believe that this is okay. We need to start showing girls more options. For them to desire and require more from young men and to stop settling for less. Furthermore we need to rear children who can discern the lies that the hip-hop culture attempt to instill in them and the truths that our mother and grandmother lived by. On the other hand haow can we expect more from our young brothers when our young sisters dont. Gone are the days of requiring a young man to open a door, pull out a chair, and be a man for a woman simply because it is right. Young girls need to learn to expect the best for yourself and not use your bady as a means to gain a baller. Be your own baller.
In addition we must learn to raise young girls who do not want to lay with a boy because he told her she was thick, sexy, fine, etc. Those are cheap shots.
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is that news? you guys have babies like its a business. Has anyone ever heard of protected sex? try it, maybe more children will grow up with both parents, be in a well grounded home and not every child will think that in order to make it in life u have to be a musician, basketball player or football player and less girls will be on the stripper pole.
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DID WE REALLY NEED NOTICE OF WHAT WE ALREADY KNOW TO BE TRUE? SINCE I CAN REMEMBER I KNEW MORE BROADS WITH BABIES THEN MEN TAKING CARE OF THOSE BABIES. NOTHING NEW PPL….WHO’S FAULT IS IT? SO MANY TO BLAME IT AINT FUNNY. I KNOW A FEW OF MY VERY OWN FRIENDS WHO REGRET LIKE HELL HAVING KIDS.
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