I need my readers to tell me, is that a yes or a no?
In this modern-day and age of relationships, when it comes down to men and women being friends, a clear understanding of your boundary’s should be set.
Oftentimes, when a close friendship is established between a man and a woman signals can get crossed and feelings do ensue, especially as the friendship grows and you both reach a certain level of comfort.
At that point, what do you do? In rare cases, these situations turn into beautiful fulfilling relationships but is romance or sexual fulfillment worth the risk of losing a friend?
I need my CEO-Blog readers to weigh in on this subject…tell me your thoughts.
Conversations Of A Sistah 
ah hell ms. bell, which one of your friends wanna cross the line? lol…
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@Adriane, who’s 2say Tra talkin about a situation that’s her own? don’t assume.
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@Adriane, I doubt SERIOUSLY every single post and/or subject that Tracy tackles is about her or a situation she’s in. the girl keeps it real. if that were the case I believe she would say so. and if you are familiar with how she does things, she seems to have no problem puttin somedody’s azz on blast!
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LOL @ “she seems to have no problem puttin somedody’s azz on blast!”
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I SAY *HELL NO!!!*
THAT TURNS FRIENDS INTO BITTER ENEMIES.
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Well, it all depends on what you’re looking for.
If you wish to eventually engage in some sort of serious relationship, or catch feelings quick, then the “friends with benefits” is NOT for you but if you’re not seeking anything serious nor stable any time soon and just want to “do you” then go ahead.
Do however, take all needed precautions @ all times too to help prevent unwanted pregnancies or stds/hiv/aids.
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Not a good idea if he/and or she is a real friend. If she a homegirl its cool what ever.. I think you have 2 look at it like if I never talk to this girl again am I cool with that.. If she is really a friend you better be willing to give her a realtionship as well.
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I believe in “friends with benefits”
#dontjudgeme.
So go for it blog queen!!!! 🙂
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…..beneficial friends if you will….lol
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i’ve done the fwb thing before and i love it. its convenient and unlike most women i can have sex without emotions so there is no risk of me getting attached. Trust me, its handy to have a fwb when ur single and dont want a relationship and is tired of using ur fingers to satisfy urself… 🙂
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@Ivy, damn baby! That was a lil 2much info wasn’t it?
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@Ivy,
Gurl – Amen!
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I say yes, but it’s not something I do, under normal circumstances. Sometimes you meet someone and there is nothing but physical attraction, what else could someone want from such a vague thing?
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@RandomChick, my friend wit benefits is actually my last ex. we’ve come a looooooong way to finally get to this common ground but, we have AMAZING sex and we can talk, chill, thats like one of my best friends and i still care for him but i never thought id see the day where i would have no romantic feelings for him at all….and i can honestly say i dont.
But thats my dude for life but he is not someone i can take serious in a relationship so i choose to keep him around as a friend and have him fuck my brains out and give me some good brain, its the best of both worlds!
and we still talk every single day, theres no guessing where we stand cuz we already know. and i’m still talking to another dude anyway…my FWB gets jealous when i go out wit him and do the “couple” things but hey, thats who i like, u just the one im fucking, lol!
i think he may have caught more feelings back for me but im in a good spot wit him and if me and him stopped dealin wit each other today, i wouldnt sweat it cuz we gonna always be friends.
so yea, i guess one person does always catch feelings but i feel like in my situation, he’s the one who caught them…im still doing me! but if u can honestly carry on wit someone wit no feelings attached and not be in denial…then it works.
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“I’m still talking to another dude anyway”
Uh huh…. @Tyish
And I supposed the dude you doing the date thing with knows about this ex of yours that’s gorilla fucking you into the sofa huh? Nygga probably paying for your meals and shit. Scandalous.
Let that man know what’s up before you mess around and give e’rrybody HERPES.
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@SlickRick, I’m LMMFAO!!!! you told Tyish right!!!!
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@Slick, I’m only having sex wit my ex and i use protection sweety, don’t worry bout what i do. niggas do it all the time and dont nobody complain about them. so please be quiet, u don’t know me or know how healthy i am, and who r u to judge? just know that im grown and doing me. SMOOCHES!
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@Tyish,
Would you catch feelings if he cut the whole deal off and got a girlfriend? What if his new girl said some shit like ”I don’t want you talking to Tyish any longer” and then he goes along with it.
Now the rabbit has the gun! Honestly speaking, would you get upset if your “Friend with Benefits get booed up and stop calling you?
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@Acquitta
NO, cuz we will always remain friends. i’ma eventually stop dealing wit him when me and my current boo get more serious so, if he does that to me then so be it. but we will never lose contact, we may not talk as much but he will always be my peoples. hey, it has to end some day right?
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so I say; men suck it up cauze there is a new game in town. lol. 🙂
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@Tyish, Really??
I was fwb wit some1 years ago..turned in2 a horrible relationshp tht lasted 9yrs…now im raising our 1yr old child.
So…”play wit fire and U GET BURNED”
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@Truth, either way, I say: don’t do it.
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LADIES FORNICATION IS A SIN, PERIOD!!! BUT IF YOU MUST PLAY, PLAY TO WIN.
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@Tyish, It’s all fun and games until your ass is replaced with another fwb.
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Some women can do this despite of what they’ve internalized. Personally, I am what one can call a relationship kind of woman. Frivolity is not my style.
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I have a particular friend with benefits whoz always down fa eatin me. Been that way for months. He never lets me down.
He’ll Take me to work or take me home. Even help me move. So it’s like we r not really fuckin buddies.
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I see this post don bought out “the damn freak” in erbody. we hearin shit one wouldn’t care to know.
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@Q, LOL I know that’s right!!! I’m reading comments now. 🙂
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If I can hit that – you can’t be my friend!
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@CEODawg, cauz it’s just not the same. its something about crossing that line that fucks it all up.
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Men can do it no problem, it’s the women that can’t because they ALWAYS end up catching feelings…
(*Fellas am I lying???)
LOL, what happened to what was initially agreed upon by both parties???
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You’re WRONG @Spice, feelings have no respect of gender….I might do it with a friend depending on the circumstances. but for me, it’s not worth it unless we’re gonna take it further. I’m one fella who don’t believe in casual sex.
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@SPICE.,
Shhhhhh!!!!!!!
Why are you putting these females up on the game, they’re not supposed to know that – SMH…
Let them live and learn, LOL…
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I agree w/QTip,
A *friends with benefits* situation cannot last because someone ALWAYS gets caught up.
I know because i had an experience like that and i got caught up, however, that being said i disagree with some people’s comments that it is always the female to get caught up, sometimes it’s the male that gets caught up. I’m speaking from experience people.
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First and foremost friends are forever…
When you bring sex into the picture than you are friends no more…
But you get put into the category of “lovers come and lovers go”.
Boo Hoo
Now I’m out to the bar…
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LMAO @ SAYWHAT, out to the bar, this early?
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The “friends with benefits” situation is a joke. Its just a way for the guy to sleep with the woman without committment. Then once he meets the one he really wants, the “friend” will know the truth of what he thought of her.
I’ve seen women claim they can do that arrangement with a man, but later when he says he’s getting with another woman for real, she feels like a fool.
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@Adam, that’s why I had a friend and when I caught feelins for him my azz was OUT!!! I didn’t end the friendship but I toned down the constant contact, the way he would contact me and the time we would spend 2gether. I had to set boundaries. Cauz my momma didn’t raise no fool.
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@Adam, thats not always true, that only happens to women that are secretly crushing on the guy and is hoping for more than what it is. And fwb does not only benefit the man, as a woman i have benefited from it also and we ended on good terms and still remain friends to this day after i met someone else. So in the end it all depends on the woman, as long as she doesn’t lie to herself and hope for more.
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There are plenty of people out here, who have friends with benefits. What’s the issue?
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@man, the issue is, you’re settling when that’s your relationship imo.
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I don’t see anything wrong with friends w/benefits. Sometimes there is just only a sexual attraction that you have with a person and that’s maybe all you enjoy about them. They might not be the Husband type in other areas.
Personally I prefer to have friends w/benefits, but everytime I try NOT to be committed , they want to be more than just friends.
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@Bamma, that’s becauz when you have SEX with someone you are creating a “soul tie”. your souls become attached whether yall know that or not and judging by some of these comments ya’ll don’t know.
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@Rezzie, as always i see you keepin it REAL!
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I never did the “friends with benefits” thing. I don’t see the point. Sex might be nice, but if there’s no commitment attached then it just seems like I’d just be short-changing myself.
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See @Ashanti., I agree.
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@Ashanti & Ebony, the ones that go along with this “FRIENDS W/BENEFITS” foolishness have little to no self-esteem whatsoever no matter what they say…so i agree…never SELL yourselves short.
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@Ashanti & Ebony., I’m with you. My body and my time are much too special to be used at someone’s leisure. I think NOT!!!!!
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@Ebony, Ashanti & Felicia,
I can tell that ya’ll are very Special young ladies!!! Don’t ask me how I know, I just know… With that being said all I need for you to do is act like it. 🙂
That thang that you got in between your legs is VERY special also and should be treated as such… Not just any or every or some random dude should be allowed to be all up in it…
Alright, now I want you to do me a favor… Get up and go to the bathroom – look in the mirror and say the following = “I am beautiful, I am special and I am worthy”… Repeat 3 times and say it like you mean it!!!
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@Ace, I agree with you., but I didn’t know you had Jesse Jackson potential. with the “Get up and go to the bathroom – look in the mirror and say the following = “I am beautiful, I am special and I am worthy”… Repeat 3 times and say it like you mean it!!!”
GTFOH!!!!
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@Adamn, bless his heart he means well. 🙂
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@Ace.,Nyggah please. So patronizing.
“Special”? “Precious”
Ain’t nothing special about pussy. There’s billions of ‘em on the planet. Truth be told, you trying to talk ya way into some RIGHT NOW.
you got the NERVE to be sounding and acting all sanctimonious. Capt. “Save a Hoe’s Soul”
GTFOH with that Bishop Eddie Long Dong counseling! Women these days got AGENDAS. ITINERARIES. They ain’t got time for the B.S.
so FWB fits right in. We (men) been doing it for forever. Ain’t got nothing to do with low self-esteem.
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I was NEVER a friend with benefits nor did I ever have one. My husband and I dated before we were married. and we were introduced by Ms. Bell aka this blog’s queen. 🙂
So on this subject, I somewhat cannot relate only have an opinion.
Tra’s the best!!! 🙂
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@Joanne, you sound blessed. atleast blog queen hooked you up. I never you feel eternally grateful.?? How long have you been married? justasking?
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@Joanne, i read about you and your husband in Tracy’s book. she only talked about you briefly. I know you must be the same friend???
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How did Tracy introduce you to your husband? you mention it, so you should tell us. lol.
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@Joanne, we need you to spill the tea. give us the 4.1.1. gurl. lol. 🙂
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As long as it works BOTH ways and in a safe manner I’m down for it! Why not be happy and enjoy life. Whatever is meant to be will be I guarantee it!
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I guess this could be a yes or a no…
That damn BLOG Queen know how to start some shit!!!!!
As long as there are no misunderstandings to what type of situation it is and there are no feelings involved then hey to each is own.
Some women now are not emotional, the have no value or self worth, they are not looking for a man to have a partnership with they will sleep with anybody and not have to even like them.
So if you have those character traits then friends with benefits will work for you.
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“That damn BLOG Queen know how to start some shit!!!!!”
LOL she sure does….and can do it ertime. 🙂
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FWBs will ALWAYS lead to some1 catching feelings & or getting hurt
If u know what it is all about, then it is cool. But if u cant handle seeing ur Cuddy Buddy with some1 else, don’t do it!
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@Tamala, you are right, and I’m glad I’ve gotten out of my fwb situations because we really do need to be better than that.
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What’s so wrong with one special friend?? And why the hell not be FWB? Its someone you know, trust and enjoy being around but dont want a relationship with.
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@Man, I guess she would be special if you bangin her huh?
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@Brown., LOL…co-sign 100%!
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@Man, exactly!….Ive had one for 2 years & we have no probs =)
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FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS IS NOT A BAD THING AT ALL, I KNOW OF SOME GREAT RELATIONSHIPS AND MARRIAGES THAT STARTED OUT AS FREINDS WITH BENEFITS.
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AS A MATTER OF FACT MY OWN BEST RELATIONSHIPS STARTED OUT AS FREINDS WITH BENEFITS.
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@BigBelly, wow and you can’t even get the “DIV” 2be not even a friend. let alone one w/beneifts.
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As fa as FWB’S: Someone is always gonna be bitter when it’s time to get back in their place, someone is always gonna be jealous, someone is gonna hate, AND IT’S NOT ALWAYS THE WOMAN.
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a REAL woman just can’t handle having sex with someone multiple times and not catch feelings…its just our nature…we cant help it.
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@Adriane, so why put yourself in that kinda situation.
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“Do you believe in friends with benefits – is that a yes or a no? tell me your thoughts.”
Nope! Absolutely not! Have never been down for that. I’m sorry but I’m one of those type of sista’s that think my cootch is outlined in 24Karats or something.
And all ladies should think like that. I’m not saying that I’m not a freak, I do gets down like that, but its gotta be with a brotha I’m committed to. It would just make my stomach turn when he was on top of me knowing he was probably just pounding some other skank.
Nope, I’m worth way more than that. I’m a good woman. I cook, clean and all that, so I deserve a good STEADY man 1:1.
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@Olivijah,
So are u saying that being in a committed relationship with a man implies that he isnt pounding out other women’s cooch? That’s why alot of women end up wasting 10 years of their lives on men that aint worth shit!!.
Cuz alot of men will tell u what u want to hear for as long as u want to hear it until he has had his fill. Then u find out after all that time that he was just a dog anyway.
Atleast with a friend-with-benefits u know what the deal is from jump street so u know exactly what ur getting into, no false promises and expectations, just a good time for both. You decide when, how and where, no hassle or heartache.
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@TYISH, Yeah no “hassles or headache” until somebody either gets PREGNANT, catches a DISEASE or catches FEELINGS when he eventually kicks you to the sidelines when he meets a female he actually RESPECTS.
I have male friends and brothers and have seen this happen too many times to count.
Don’t be MAD at another chick for her opinion especially if you think being a “sideline HOE” has so many benefits.
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@Brown, I co-sign!!!! R.E.S.P.E.C.T. is the bottom line and how you won’t be viewed as a FWB’S.
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@The Lovely Ladies of THE CEO’S Blog:
All jokes aside, Please accept the following:
– men & women ARE different
– there ARE Double Standards Period!
– Y’all AIN’T built like that!?!?!
NO normal woman with a healthy amount of self-esteem that knows her self-worth will devalue herself and partake in this type of bullshit.
Leave these kind of activities to the bird brain loose pu$$y hoes out there, SMMFH…
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@CEODawg, Why do you infantile men continue to attempt to control women with lame double standards? Face the facts some men are MR RIGHT and some are MR RIGHT NOW. Any self respecting woman with proper self esteem knows the difference.
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Tyish,
This is a dumb question but. If you’re feeling your friend enough to fuck him why don’t you go steady and be together?
And if your with somebody else what is he? You wouldn’t call him your friend, man, whatever? If you’ve been platonic in the past, sex is going to change the dynamics of your relationship. There’s no way your so called friend is going to look at you in the same way. There will be a loss of respect and trust somewhere in the mix.
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@Sane,
They won’t understand because:
There’s Some Hoes In This House!!!
There’s Some Hoes In This House!!!
By reading the comments you see who the FOOLISH & no self respecting having broads are, LOL… And they wonder why decent men of substance don’t pay them no mind and will NEVER wife them, SMMFH…
You act like a loose pussy ho and you’ll be treated like a loose pussy ho…
Respect yourselves ladies!!!
What you have in between your legs is special & precious…
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@BBallen, that’s what i did I chilled to see just who was gonna say what? and now I’m seein where some of these heads are..
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@BBallen, LMAO @
There’s some hoes in this house!!!
There’s some hoes in this house!!!
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@Tyish, “more infantile behavior?”. Are you name calling? Is this what you resort to when things dont go your way? lol
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@BBallen,
Let’s define the term “HO”:
1. Hoe: a term used by men to avenge a woman who rejects them.
2. a term used by a man to describe a woman who sleeps with someone other than him even though he DESPERATELY wished she’d fuck him.
3. a term used by a man to describe a woman who does the things he WISHES he could do, and a lot better than him.
4. a term used by jealous men to describe women who have more and better options than them.
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@Tysih, TRIPPIN! A term used by me to say that’s what the fuck you doin: TRIPPIN.
1. I have no reason to avenge no one here.
2. I don’t sleep with ho’s cause i’m not 1
3. You don’t make no damn sense!
4. someone with your mentatlity is not an option for me.
Chile please!!!! lol.
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Go head @BBallen, lay down the law!!!
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@Tyish
One night stand, friends with benefits = guy see you the same way, SHAKING MY MOTHER-FUCKING HEAD!!!
LOL, you women OBVIOUSLY don’t know or understand men…
It’s like this – If I can get it like that, I KNOW FOR A FACT that out there – are OTHER dudes with MORE money than me, funnier than me, MORE handsome than me, has MORE game than me, slicker lines than me, etc…
All of which means that they can hit it just the same… WHY and how do I know? because you’re EASY and have a loose pussy!!!
We don’t know who’s dick you had in your mouth while we were away and if we know you’re EASY we’ll treat you as such because you’re worthless in our eyes to be honest with you…
As Tupac said: “we don’t want it if it’s that easy!!!”
Act like a lady…
Respect yourself and other men will respect you2!!!
You’re better than that!!!!!!!
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@Slick
I 100% agree! Don’t cheat yourself ladies. Act like that box is pure Platinum!
I’ve never been a “friend with benefits” and never will be. I love myself too much to accept 2nd best!
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A FWB’S???? I wouldn’t do it I don’t like to be used..
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@Keisha,
I Cosign 100%.
I’m not the kind of woman you have on speed dial when you’re looking to “hit it and quit it”.
I’m a package deal. You don’t get free rides with me. You buy the whole damn Cadillac.
If you can’t afford it, try a rental car. They’re cheap and they let anybody in. When you’re done, just toss the keys to next guy. LOL.
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That was a good one @ SexyChocolate 🙂
Your analogy was insightful. wow.
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@SexyChocolate, DAMN!!!! That was a good one.
“If you can’t afford it, try a rental car. They’re cheap and they let anybody in. When you’re done, just toss the keys to next guy.”
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Let me weigh my 2.cents in:
If two people want the same thing than why not? If that is the case then they both know what they are getting into and some people of both genders are perfectly happy with being “eff-buddies”.
From what I’ve seen though, more often than not, SOMEBODY gonna catch some feelings SOMEWHERE down the road.
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I agree with some of ya’ll….. I love it at this time in my life. I don’t want a serious relationship. I have work, school and practice.
Therefore I dont have time for the boo’s tryna holla at me now.
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@Felicia, we are living in the last days. that’s the only explanation. we are all corrupted. I just try to abstain altogether. lol.
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Good afternoon people: since Tracy started it, let me weigh in: FWB’s are bad for grown folks, shows instability and the inability to form a longterm committed monogomous relationships.
#Thatisall.
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@Floridagirl, point made. but hell thats why its so damn hard for grown folks 2 get in a committed relationshp…hell people dont even get married no more…they just hav kids.
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Many marriages have started out as a friends with benefits situation.
Can’t remember how many dudes start bragging about how they banging this cool chick and it’s no strings attached but fast fwd 2 years later they married with kids……but 90% of the time it’s usually just some good sex for about a month and the girl starts to want more and the guy doesn’t and after that particular conversation that FWB is pretty much out….and the friendship goes right out the door with the booty.
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Fact: You’re either “friends” or you’re “benefits”. The two don’t mix. Not from a guy’s perspective, anyway.
And there IS a double standard. Once you’re classified as benefits a guy will see a woman differently.
*Happy Friday people*
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Nooooooo……ladies!!!! Don’t fall for it! It’s either “friends” or it’s “benefits”. From a guy’s perspective, no matter what he tells you, he’s going to think differently about you. The double standard is alive and well – don’t kid yourselves. Get a vibrator if you’re that hard up!!
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Yes to friends no to busters. lol..
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If the woman is mature and can accept the situation for what it is…and the man can pay the woman enough money and keep a high level of privacy regarding the relationship… This situation can work out well for both parties.
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Honestly people, friends with benefits is a horrible idea.
It leaves WAY too much room for drama…and it’s STUPID to do this with someone you consider a great friend. I dont care what anyone says…when you sex someone down a bunch of times…with the sex being good…SOMEONE is bound to catch feelings. Man, trust….it happens EVERYTIME…in just a matter of time.
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Friends with benefits is always a not so great idea. Up front you have to tell him to pick one or the other, not both because someone always get hurt whether it’s the man or the woman. Human’s especially women arn’t programed that way. Give us the ring or move on!!!
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Friends with Benefits is a NO-NO!!!
Herpes is currently an epidemic while HIV is a pandemic!!
1 in 4 people have herpes!! And another 1 in 4 don’t know their HIV status!!
NO FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS!!
Get into a monogamous relationship and get tested!!!
People randomly sleeping with each other is the reason for the above status!!
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Friends With Benefits can work. Just decrease the friendship, and increase the benefits..
And for the people that say women get caught up, They dont/wont if you ACT honest. You’d be surprised if you acted the way you talked.
Dont tell her you dont want a relationship, then take her ass out on a romantic dinner for two, presenting her with red roses and shit… that shit dont make any sense..
You smell me.
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I think its stupid and I don’t care what anyone says someone will always get attached don’t do it. And if your over the age of 21 and still having friends with benefits then you have issues.
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DO I BELIEVE IN FWB’S?
I SAY “NO” BECAUSE SOMEBODY’S FEELINGS ARE GOING TO GET HURT AFTERWHILE., AND WHY *GET USED UP*
AND BY THE TIME U WANNA SETTLE U WILL BE USED UP AND NO GOOD…
UH AH..NOT ME!
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Friends with “benefits” benefits who exactly is it benefiting?
You want to loose a friend? and by that I mean the girl (of course). cuz that is what will happen.
However, a sex buddy is there to give you a tune up when needed in between relationships.
Men are some interesting creatures. And Women men don’t fall in love with vaginas.
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To each is His/Her own but personally I could not lay down with someone I don’t Love or have any feelings for. A lot of Woman say they can just sleep with someone without getting attached ( I don’t Believe the hype) Woman are emotional creatures by nature and once you share a sexual experience with someone you too are connected to one another if you like it or not.
Men on the other hand can definitely do it slam, bam, thank you maam a chick and not look back. No its not right but it is in there smut @$$3$ by nature #ImJustSaying.
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@Miss Rina, that’s what im saying, i couldn’t just give it up then roll over as if nothing never happened. FWB’S No thank you.
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