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Jada Pinkett’s open Letter to a friend who’s getting a divorce

52

September 23, 2013 by The ReadyWriter


Jada writes open letter

Actress Jada Pinkett-Smith penned an open letter to a friend who has decided to get a divorce. In her letter, which she posted on her Facebook page, Jada said couples who hope to grow old together must give each other space and time apart to miss each other.

Jada, who admits to having an open marriage with husband Will Smith, wrote that marriages “inevitably” experience “difficult moments” that call for a break. Jada said she spent time speaking to elders who have been married for 25+ years to get a perspective on what Love is. She said one of the couples spent several years apart before they realized their Love for one another.

But the key to a successful marriage is a lot more complex than just giving each other space. The real problem is that SOME women, who are raised to be “daddy’s little girl,” are obsessed with being married — something that men are not uniquely qualified for.

A letter to a dear friend:
You came to see me last night to tell me that you have decided to get a divorce. Last night I only listened, but this morning I woke up with a hope for you. For the past five years, I have been meeting with elders who have been married for 25+ years to get understanding from many perspectives as to what marriage and love is all about. Almost all the couples have said that at some point in their marriage they have stumbled upon inevitably difficult moments that called for a break. I spoke to one couple who had a few years apart only to re-discover their desire to grow old together and to do what was necessary to continue to deepen their love for one another. My hope for you is this, that you consider taking the route that some of our elders have taken in giving your marriage some space and time before the drastic decision of divorce. Answers to big questions need time to find lasting truth vs the truth of the moment. After this process the answer may be the same, but at least you will have the clarity to go about it all with certainty and integrity, but you may also find that spark that could save and rekindle your marriage.
My humble thoughts.
J

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52 thoughts on “Jada Pinkett’s open Letter to a friend who’s getting a divorce

  1. Bird says:

    Shut up Jada!!!
    Why you tryin to raise grown folk, yet you don’t think ya kids need raising. Hollywierd done turned Jada into a totally different person. I don’t like her anymore. 😡

    Like

  2. Mrs. Hawthorne says:

    She couldn’t call her and tell her this? Why post this shit on facebook?

    Like

  3. 2Thick4U says:

    I think she does this for the wider audiences benefit.

    Like

  4. Zenna says:

    Jada, who admits to having an open marriage with husband Will Smith,
    ~~~~~~~~
    Really? I missed that memo.

    Like

    • Browngirl says:

      Really? I missed that memo.
      ——
      Will prolly did too. He had me DYING laughing talking about he was laYed up in the bed and Jada was sound asleep and he got a Google notif about her filing for Divorce from him.

      Like

    • QueenC says:

      Jada, who admits to having an open marriage with husband Will Smith,
      ~~~~~~~~
      STOP lying 😆

      Like

  5. Yvonne says:

    Hmmm… 0_0…. the question my nosey ass wanna know the answer to is… Who is getting a divorce?

    Like

  6. Adriane says:

    I have to agree some relationships need space to breathe and/or rekindle the spark.

    Like

  7. Daisy says:

    women are obsessed with being married
    ————————-
    I believe in marriage but this is true

    Like

  8. Ashanti says:

    I wonder why Jada and Will sold their dream house

    Like

  9. Olivijah says:

    This hoe always blabbin her mouth.

    Like

  10. Mahogany says:

    I’m curious why is marriage always a goal for some people? For some people marriage the wedding is more important than anything. I don’t get it.

    Like

  11. Keisha says:

    She does have a lot of free time on her hands to be penning open letters.

    Signed,
    Daddy’s lil girl
    Single
    No kids
    Homeowner
    B.S. MBA
    #poorme

    Like

  12. Jamilla says:

    During the couple break, does she recommend seeing other people too?

    Like

  13. Tamala says:

    Shut up Jada. Thank U!

    Like

  14. Nicole says:

    She couldn’t tell her friend this BS face to face? WTF?!

    Like

  15. Browngirl says:

    Lawd, can we please get the old Jada back?

    Like

  16. Gia says:

    Ahhh I feel for the friend who read this and was like “This big mouth hoe 😆 can’t tell her shyt no mo”

    Marriage is ordained by God, meaning when you are READY with no ulterior motives, you make your vows to each other and to God to honor each other. If that involves a separation period, so be it. There is supposed to be respect, honor and loyalty there.

    People think marriage is supposed to change your relationship, make it magically better, or to change the people in the relationship. Nope, you’re sadly mistaken if you think a ceremony or a piece of paper will do that. It’s the MINDFRAME of marriage itself that will either end in love for life or divorce

    Like

  17. Wanda says:

    if respect, loyalty, and love aren’t present, they have no business getting married. Vows ain’t nothing to play with.

    Like

  18. Ionna says:

    I wonder if these friends are in her head. If I knew her I would never share personal things with her cause she stays putting people business on FB.

    As far as her message. Different strokes for different folks. Do what makes you happy in your marriage. Trying to follow what works for others can leave you unhappy.

    Like

  19. Henrietta says:

    Jada know damn well she ain’t got no friends. I don’t believe anybody can relate to her ass anymore now that she’s down with Hollyweird and their crazy therories.

    Like

  20. acquittap says:

    Jada just cause you and Will work hard at being sister wives don’t mean other want to be

    Like

  21. CorporateBitch says:

    some women are desperate for a fucking WEDDING but not Marriage. Two separate things. One is pomp n circumstance, the other is the reality.

    Like

    • Floridagirl says:

      Corp,
      A party with a nice dress ain’t nothing but a party. Marriage is the life after the party. Niggs ain’t ready for that life but so damn desperate for it

      Like

    • CoCo says:

      some women are desperate for a fucking WEDDING but not Marriage. Two separate things. One is pomp n circumstance, the other is the reality.
      ———
      Or they spend thousands on a wedding and the bride and groom have to move in their parents basement to pay it off 😆

      Like

  22. Floridagirl says:

    i wonder who Jada tombout.. 😆

    Like

  23. AppleBottom says:

    Jada said couples who hope to grow old together must give each other space and time apart to miss each other.
    _________________
    Why do folks think this lady is so smart….. I mean Ion get that shyt one bit

    Like

  24. Gabriella says:

    Oh Jada please. 😆

    Like

  25. CoCo says:

    Jada need to worry about her weirdo ass kids, one telling kids to drop out of school and the other looking like some sorta freak of nature. FOH Jada, if I were that friend I would curse her straight out in the comments section if she posted this on FB or call her 😆

    Like

  26. Joanne says:

    Marriage is not man-made. Marriage was ordained by God.

    Like

  27. Kayla says:

    I’m pretty sure it’s easy to be married to Will Smith. When your husband is Will Smith it’s probably easy to have a good attitude about him getting some cookie from other women on the side, maybe when your husband is Will Smith, you don’t mind him taking a risk with your life.
    But in reality I had a really hard time being married to a man that thinks marriage is not something to be serious about. I’m giving you, as my husband, the ability to choose life or death for me, should something happen and I cannot make that decision for myself, and you can’t do something as simple as keep your dick in your pants?

    You think it’s ok to take a risk with my life so you can get a little extra on the side? You think you are entitled to a little something extra on the side when you have me doing handstands and swinging from the chandeliers at home?

    No, I don’t think you’re ready for the responsibility of being a spouse, and so, sometimes, divorce is the right decision. And I feel just fine about that.

    Like

    • Lexy says:

      I’m pretty sure it’s easy to be married to Will Smith. When your husband is Will Smith it’s probably easy to have a good attitude about him getting some cookie from other women on the side, maybe when your husband is Will Smith, you don’t mind him taking a risk with your life.
      But in reality I had a really hard time being married to a man that thinks marriage is not something to be serious about. I’m giving you, as my husband, the ability to choose life or death for me, should something happen and I cannot make that decision for myself, and you can’t do something as simple as keep your dick in your pants?

      You think it’s ok to take a risk with my life so you can get a little extra on the side? You think you are entitled to a little something extra on the side when you have me doing handstands and swinging from the chandeliers at home?

      No, I don’t think you’re ready for the responsibility of being a spouse, and so, sometimes, divorce is the right decision. And I feel just fine about that.
      ———-
      CoSign 100%

      Like

  28. AlScream says:

    My hope for you is this, that you consider taking the route that some of our elders have taken in giving your marriage some space and time before the drastic decision of divorce
    ____________________
    All I know is, no elder in my family did this shyt 😆 Jada on that shyt ! <<<Gotta be …

    Like

  29. Felicia says:

    I agree with her advice….but did she have to post the letter?

    Like

  30. Lisa says:

    Ultimately, every relationship is different. You never know what you will tolerate UNTIL you are in that situation.

    Like

  31. Natasha says:

    now I do believe in working through all of your options first, but I’m not staying married forever just because…. 😡

    Like

    • QueenC says:

      now I do believe in working through all of your options first, but I’m not staying married forever just because
      _____________

      Natasha, I think most logical ppl think this way.

      Like

  32. Miss Ang says:

    Aside from battery and cheating you gotta work it out. And if you look at some of the happiest couples today (25 years in) some of them have cheated and are still together. Now I ain’t there yet 😆 in forgiving that ….. But God knows my heart

    Like

    • Keisha says:

      the happiest couples today (25 years in) some of them have cheated and are still together. Now I ain’t there yet 😆 in forgiving that ….. But God knows my heart
      ——–
      no matter what? Not I, said the cat

      Like

    • RandomChick says:

      the happiest couples today (25 years in) some of them have cheated and are still together. Now I ain’t there yet 😆 in forgiving that ….. But God knows my heart
      ——–
      no matter what? Not I, said the cat
      ~~~~~~~~
      This is why I’m not married. I cant get over the “what ifs”.

      Like

    • Yasha says:

      the happiest couples today (25 years in) some of them have cheated and are still together.
      —————-
      and that my friends is the problem

      Like

    • CorporateBitch says:

      You fuck with me, you put a rang on it, you stuck with me.

      Like

    • Harlem says:

      Almost all the couples go thru a moment when they don’t want to be together. They recommend talking a cooling off period. Give the marriage space and time, however you see fit, before you say goodbye for good.

      Like

  33. Yasha says:

    You got a 50/50 chance of being happy. 😆
    Them some terrible odds.

    Like

  34. Shawnia says:

    I can use a few days to myself nah and I ain’t even married yet.

    Like

  35. Cameo says:

    Married ppl cant be introverts.

    Like

  36. Starr says:

    Im sure these old people Jada consulted with told her to eat something and feed her kids and put actual clothes on them.

    Like

  37. Harlem says:

    Stay together long enough and someone is bound to cheat.

    Like

  38. Omar says:

    Jada wrote this letter to Will 😆 ain’t no “friend”

    Like

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